SAHM V’s Working Mother debate


Why is this still a debate, it does not matter to me if you stay at home as a mother (SAHM), or you are a working mother. You do what is right for you. In the news the other day there was an article ”Curse of the mummy wars” by Jessica Irvine on the Sydney Morning Herald .

Some people need to work to keep the house and their way of life, and these mothers would very much like to spend more time with their young children. Understand and that is hard as well. I am in the other situation, where I would love to work a bit part time but it is hard to impossible.

We are lucky that I can stay home with the kids; however more money would be a great thing at the moment, as we like a lot of people are in financial stress. It is hard to work, due to living further out from the city, having no family to help and the costs of childcare. If I was to get a job, it might prove difficult to keep as what do I do during school holidays or if the kids or one gets sick?  Currently I need to do something at home that fits in with my current situation as a stay at home mother to the twins.

The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.

The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.


Not only have I caught myself drooling over jobs, it makes me miss the whole idea of work. Currently the workplace would be an escape and a way to have my individually noticed, skills respected and being taken for more than just a wife and mother. I am sure that others feel the same way; however I know my time will come, but there are times I am frustrated and feel annoyed about not doing more for us and especially me.

People must think being a stay at home mother is all relaxing and having fun with the kids. Yes there is a bit of that, but it is a really hard job. This is a job that you don’t get time out, help, sick days, or holidays. It makes me think that all my old jobs were dead easy now.

In the article by Jessica Irvine, Ann Rommey the wife of presidential candidate Mitt Rommey, opened a twitter account to answer critics about her choice to stay at home to look after their children.  Do you feel that you are always justifying your choice as a stay at home mother? I don’t care it is what we have done and it is working for us. If I decided to go to work, it would break us even more financially, as what do I do with the kids? How do I find the money to pay for their care? Who will pick them up and look after them after school? It boils down to what is the better option for your family. No one else needs to enter the debate.

It is sad that the value we have on women is more for paid work compared to raising the next generation. Why is the female of the species belittled for doing what works for her family?  In my instance we would have to find money so that I could work. Why would you do it if the money you earn is not going to pay for everything? Cheaper and better off to stay at home and care for the kids.

In the article it states that men traditionally have earned more than women, and this is in my view still happens. I for one have more qualifications than my husband but did not earn as much as him in the corporate world. It made sense for us to keep the higher salary earner in the workforce. However that said, I am hoping that my finished master’s degree in project management will help me get the next job with of course a decent wage.  Some women do out earn men, and I hope that one day that will be me. However no matter what way it goes, I think the higher wage earner is the better choice. Just my opinion, but of course you can both work which is great too.

What are your thoughts on the debate of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) or Working Mother? Why are we still having this discussion? I don’t see the need to worry, it is not my business what you or your family do, and it is up to you. You will work it out, not me or the media. Send in your comments.

2 Responses
  • Lacey Smith
    July 22, 2012

    This is a great post! Every word I read I found myself nodding along. I am a stay at home & work from home mom. I left the workforce after many years, when I had my son. I thought for sure I’d go crazy and miss working and after a while I did, but I loved being a stay at home mom too. I really didn’t want to give up one or the other because I really wanted to contribute to our family’s income and I was lucky enough to find the job I currently have, which allows me to stay at home and work. I think whether you’re a stay at home mom or working mother, you’re still trying to do the best you can for yourself and your family. That’s what matters the most. I just finished a great book called “The Barefoot Executive” by Carrie Wilkerson. You can get it right off of the author’s website, I highly recommend this read for anyone working from home, starting their at home business, or who may not even know where to start. Thanks for the post!

    • Suzanne
      July 22, 2012

      Thanks Lacey about the book, will have to check it out. 🙂

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *