This last week I have been down in the dumps. I should have been really happy and really there is not a lot wrong in my world, well winning the lotto would help, but aside from that all is well really.
I think I was a little out of sorts due to my impending birthday, this birthday was yesterday if you did not see my updates on Instagram and Facebook.
I have had moments that I have looked in the mirror and thought I was seeing more wrinkles and this of course made me upset. However I was thinking about my good friend that I lost last year, he lost his battle with cancer. He was the same age I was before yesterday when he passed.
My good mate did not get the chance to have more wrinkles or to turn another year older. I spent this week in the lead up to my birthday missing him and getting reminders of him that made me laugh and of course smile. However there were times when I was just in tears due to the fact that he was gone all too soon.
He would not want me to be crying or unhappy. I tried to be happier and to focus on what was great and good about life at the moment. My new baby, my lovely girls, my husband and of course that we are happy and healthy.
While I was trying to solider on and to sort out my feelings about the fact that my good mate was my age when he passed. I felt guilty turning a year older and having a good time about it. I logged into my personal Facebook account to then have an old memory pop up in my news feed. It was of my good friend and me outside our house in the Mountains when we first purchased it.
I know it sounds odd but I think it was the universe telling me he was wishing me Happy Birthday. It could be, you never know…. Well it made me feel better thinking this.
I have decided that although I don’t like getting older I should embrace my wrinkles and the years ahead. I am lucky that I can get wrinkles as my mate would have enjoyed every new one that he was allowed to have if he was still here. He would have enjoyed getting older and loved the fact that he was able to share his life with his mates and family.
So what did I do on my birthday? Well it was a little sad that I had to wait to open presents until the evening but I did keep myself busy. I read with one kid in her classroom, then I went off to a Mother’s Group with the baby, after the Mother’s Group I took myself off to lunch with Alexander and then I got a nice treat – a free cup of coffee. After my coffee I picked up the twins from school and then off home to have them change and pick up a snack and then I dropped them off at art class. While they were at art class I picked up a nice bottle of red wine for dinner plus a birthday cake for me. Hubby picked up Chinese takeaway and all was good aside from being super tired after a big day out.
Do you sometimes feel a little down when you should be happy? Did you have a moment when you remembered something a friend did that made you smile or laugh? Was it a friend or a family member that you have lost or that has moved away that has made you sad?