Buying gifts for twins or triplets or more is more loaded than you would think. Yep, whatever you do seems wrong, so you need to make the best choice possible.

Do you purchase something for the kids to share?

Do you get the same thing for each child and be done with it?

Or do you grab something similar for each kid?

Or get the same item but in a different colour?

These decisions are fraught and ones that I take super seriously. I spend what feels like hours at shops contemplating what would be best, and what would the outcome be. Yes, I fret over it and then sometimes have gotten it so wrong, so I wanted to share what I have done and hope it helps you with your purchases. 

As a mother to twins, this has been my dilemma since they were born. My twins are nearly fifteen now, but this present buying issue hasn’t gone away, although due to their age, they understand why we purchased one of something compared to having a tantrum demanding they have the same game or toy too!

I recently attended an eight-year-old twins birthday party and when purchasing their present I was faced with the same question, how will this impact the kids and also the parents? When the twins were little many people just gave the girls a present to share for their birthday…and this created so much chaos and drama. 

“I don’t want to share with her!”
“It’s mine, not hers!”
 “Why won’t she let me have a go? 
“Why does my sister get a present and I don’t!”
“Why do we have to share this
and why can’t I have my own!”
“I have a birthday too and deserve a gift not just my sister!”
“I want what the same thing as she has!
Why didn’t I get the same present?”

Many of the above comments are yelled at me so hence the exclamation mark at the end of all the comments. Many times, one kid would take a gift that the other really loved and claim it as their own. Yep, and then enters more disaster with the cherished gift everyone wants.

We made sure to give our girls individual gifts for their birthday, however, if there was a big item like a huge toy that can indeed be shared or if it is a game we only purchased one of these. I did however have many things that we had two off, yes, we had two of many toys, items, books, trinkets and more. It was just easier and made the house much more peaceful. 

So, with the knowledge of what a pain in the arse it is to be on the receiving end of getting shared gifts or just one present for two kids I made sure that each girl at the birthday party had a gift for just them. I did give them the same things and wanted to get each kid something different, but I do know that this can backfire big time, crazy but true.

I’ve previously given my girls something different each, however, there would be one kid who would favour one of the gifts and then there would be a fight for that particular item and the realisation that I should have just purchased two of these products as it would have fixed the horrible annoyance that ended up happening…. Fighting over the one favoured and chosen object. I of course thought I was doing the right thing. Choosing something that would mean it is different from their sisters, shows more of their personality and interests and helps them be more of an individual….NO it didn’t get translated as any of this, all that got noticed is that mummy didn’t get me one of the toys that my sister has, and the other kid wishes she had. 

So with that in mind, I did get the eight-year-old twins the same things…. I did feel bad but knowing what I know I thought that it was for the best. I did feel bad as I did want to get something completely different but as a parent that has dealt with the fallout of presents for twins, I knew this is a loaded issue and one that I hope I have helped the parents of the twins avoid the negative impacts of gifts to kids who are multiples. 

I explained to the mum of the eight-year-old twins that I got them the same things to avoid arguments. She was thankful and I said I was sorry that it might not be that exciting, but I told her that I know what it is like as I have first-hand experience with my twins and appreciate the complexity of the present buying dilemma.

Here’s my gift-buying guide for twins or triplets:

1. If you know they like to do the same things make sure to give each kid the same things; for example, If they like art, include paper, pens, paints, brushes and oil pastels to ensure there are no arguments. My twins always argued about who had what colours and paintbrushes. 
   
   
2. If they have favourite colour make sure to use the colours for each kid for their gifts. My kids loved purple and blue, (sometimes red) I used these colours to make sure that I had special items just for them, a new pair of pants or a top, hat or even a blanket. It doesn’t matter what it is, the difference in colour makes it more special.
   
   
3. Make sure you give each kid a gift of their own. It doesn’t need to be expensive, just something for each kid to open on their special day. Just because they are born on the same day doesn’t mean they should always get one gift.
   
   
4. You can give bigger ticket items as shared gifts, for example, a giant LEGO set, a game, or say a toy, a trampoline or a cubby house. Many things you don’t need two of.
   
   
5. When they are younger it is so important to have many duplicate items but as they get older you will find that each kid will want things the other siblings don’t like, work with your kid’s interests. 
   

Are you a parent to multiples? How have you dealt with the present issue? Have you faced the same issues? 

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