I have been asking the girls how their days at school were and who did they play with? The girls listed some of the kids at school, girls and boys and I said it sounds like they had heaps of friends to play with, this comment was met with “We don’t play with the boys mummy”. I thought that this was a bit sad, but obviously a phase. Maybe it is boys germs. I remember I did not like boys for a while either, although my best friend at school was a boy. I must have just not liked certain boys.
This got me thinking why little girls decide that boys are not worthy of friends or playing with. Is it the bigger kids that help form this opinion? Is it just the fact that they feel more comfortable with other girls? This cannot be entirely correct as the girls love the boys next door and really enjoy playing with them.
I think it is nice that the girls are developing a network of friends and playmates at their new school, I am just curious about this phase of disliking boys. Is this in built into girls and boys. Do boys suddenly say they don’t want to have anything to do with girls. Yuck girls germs and so on. Is it peer pressure or socialisation that causes this phase? Or is it just a matter of being a little girl and figuring out how things work, a right of passage in friendship and figuring out the genders.
I was a tom boy as a kid and still sort of am. I do get dressed up and wear dresses but not all the time, and actually rather prefer pants and jeans. I do like getting glammed up, however as I stay at home mummy looking after the girls there is not much need to get all dolled up to go to drop kids at school/shops. I did like getting dressed up for the office and meetings, however there is none of that in my current world. The girls seem to be girly girls, which is great and fine, however I am constantly looking for something pretty for each child to wear. I hand them something practical like a t-shirt, or long sleeve top and it gets handed back with the words, “That is not pretty mummy!!!” The girls do get dressed up for special occasions and parties however if they are just going to get dirty and play, why not be in comfy and practical clothing.
This line of difference is very obvious in the toy section of any department store or shop. In the section supposedly for girls it is wall to wall pink, dolls, babies and all things that will have little girls trapped in the kitchen or the house. The section for boys is much more interesting, building blocks, science and other games that use the mind and don’t trap the person into housework chores. As you might have guessed I have not purchased any of those things for the girls. They do have dolls and some stuffed toys as dolls. However they don’t have a kitchen/sinks/vacuum cleaner/broom and brush. We have given the girls a mixture of toys, building blocks, planes, trucks, cars, prams, doctor kit and so on. They have girly toys if they have to be labelled as such and they have other toys that will help develop other areas of their brain and interests.
Currently I am very curious about why girls go through this hating boys. I know I did it and thought that they were just silly. I used to scare the boys off by saying that I would kiss them. This worked as they did not want girls germs, until the boys decided that they now liked girls, then I ran away. This is the other concern that we will have to worry about. When boys like the girls. This is a long time off, say 10 years from now, so we have plenty of time until that happens.
Have you as a parent been curious of this development in your child? I know it is all normal, however still curious about why it happens. I have looked online and only found information about toys, gender and other things. Nothing is addressing my question. I will keep on looking, and if I see anything that is helpful, I will post it here. If you find anything that might help send it my way.
This is an interesting article: Gifted Girls – Many Gifted Girls, Few Eminent Women: Why?
What do you think?