How Parents Really Feel


Healthdirect Australia who manages the national Pregnancy, Birth and Baby service conducted a survey to find out the concerns parents have being new parents, about pregnancy and the birth of their child or children.

Did you know that many parents have thoughts that they are unable to share with others. Sad really. Every parent has probably had the same thoughts and sharing will make you not feel so alone.

Pregnant and wondering what it will be like being a mummy.

Pregnant and wondering what it will be like being a mummy.

“The online survey of 1,011 expecting or new parents found that 53 per cent reported experiencing some issues that were so personal they couldn’t tell anyone.”

I do understand not wanting to share very personal information but at times having a person who you trust can help a great deal.


What were your biggest fears when you were pregnant?

Mine was just around the health of the baby and that the birth went well. Initially I was thinking that we were having one child, but that thought soon ended and the worry over a multiple pregnancy entered my head. I was fine but my doctor was rather concerned.

From the survey they were:

  • Something being “wrong” with their baby (49%)
  • Miscarriage (42%)
  • Coping financially (34%)


Baby crying... please go back to sleep!

Baby crying… please go back to sleep!

Emotional support is a big thing that is needed in the first stages of parenthood.

  • 71% needed significant emotional support in the first six months of parenthood
  • Men and women looked to their partner, friends and family as well for their support network.
  • GP’s was next on the list
  • Online forums was noted to be a good source of support as well.

I for one was super tired and a zombie like person after the birth of the twins. Constantly getting up every three or so hours to feed babies, change them and to make sure all is well with little people made me very, very, very tired!

It is no surprise that one of the biggest challenge once you have a new baby is the lack of sleep that parents face, especially the primary care giver. The next major issue was if your little bundle does not sleep at all. I was very lucky my kids slept well, I don’t know how I would have managed with babies up non-stop and I with no sleep either.

Factor in recovering from birth and if you have other children to care for as well. This would push your limits.


Sleepy baby

Sleepy baby

One third of respondents reported experiencing miscarriage. 32% sought counseling. It is difficult to talk about loss, feelings and pain.

“Pregnancy, Birth and Baby was set up specifically to help people struggling with issues around pregnancy and birth, and that includes pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal and infant loss. We’d encourage anyone dealing with a tough time to call us on our 24 hour help line on 1800 882 436, or visit our website at

I have my down times when everything feels horrible and like I am a complete failure. Yes I suppose everyone goes through this. Terrible mother moments, and self-doubt creep in.

I then look at all the good things that I have done.

My kids are:

  • Happy
  • Healthy
  • Smart
  • Love hubby and me
  • Giggly
  • Funny
  • Active
  • Considerate
  • Helpful
  • Caring
  • They are also sometimes naughty, silly and don’t listen but that is kids for you.

On the whole. I am doing a good job. I think you are too. Don’t beat yourself up over some little things. So what if the house is a mess. So what if you did not have a shower to drop kids at school. If you brushed your teeth and hair and managed to get kids dressed and sorted for school that is an accomplishment in itself. You can always have a nice relaxing shower or bath while kids are at school or care. This way you can relax!

Focus on the positives. Take small wins and if someone offers to help you accept it. When the kids were babies I had family come over all the time to help me out. It was a nice time and much needed.

A father with his new little baby. Finally sleeping. Now not to move!

A father with his new little baby. Finally sleeping. Now not to move!


Helpful Tip

Oh and one other thing. If you are pregnant and about to give birth. Freeze about three months of meals in a freezer. If you have to add rice or salad that is easy, but having all the hard cooking done makes things ten times easier, especially when you are tired and don’t have the time or energy to cook.


Don’t worry about reaching out for support or help. This is what these organisations and groups are there for.

Anything that helps and makes you feel better is a positive and is good for the family.

See below for all the info about HealthDirect Australia and Pregnancy, Birth and Baby.


ABOUT HEALTHDIRECT AUSTRALIA: Healthdirect Australia is a publicly funded company, established to provide all Australians with access to trusted health information and advice, when and where they need it. We deliver a number of health services, including Pregnancy, Birth and Baby- free 24hr advice and through pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of parenthood. For more information visit:


ABOUT PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND BABY: Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is an initiative of the Federal Government and offers free, confidential information and support to women and their partners through pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of parenthood. The service is also available to friends and relatives.

Becoming a parent can sometimes be challenging or overwhelming, and it’s reassuring to know there is expert help and support available whenever you need it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week:

By phone: call 1800 882 436 at any time of the day or night. Our staff can answer any questions you may have, give you advice on what to do next, and redirect you to other useful services.

Video call: Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is one of the world’s first health services to offer a secure, high quality video call option, 7am – midnight, 7 days:

Online: The Pregnancy, Birth and Baby website provides information for expecting and new parents on a range of topics. The information is easy to understand, up to date and has been subject to Healthdirect Australia’s strict quality assurance processes:

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