Why are so fixated on when women have children?
Why are we obsessed with other people’s choices, and why are we forcing what we want on others? Also, why can’t we just let people have a private life?
Jennifer Aniston’s latest interview in Allure discusses her personal struggle with fertility, how the media and everyone is focused on when and with who she will have a baby with, and Aniston is right no one is doing close-up crotch photos of men with arrows “fertile sperm!”
Why is it anyone’s business if they have children or not?
Why is it something we feel we are entitled to know or be part of?
Why are questions from strangers okay when the other person might be going through a tough time and is upset about the whole situation and in fact would rather not share anything as it is a private matter?
Why is it when a woman is over a certain age and in a relationship the question of when she will procreate a topic for everyone to suddenly get in on?
When I was with my boyfriend, now the husband, his grandmother was at me about when I was going to have a baby. When will I get pregnant? I was only in my early 20’s at this stage. I did want kids but not then. I got asked the same question about why I wasn’t pregnant, why are we waiting, why are we not married, and then from others in his family, why oh why are we not pregnant?
My answer to this question was I am not alone in this task. I cannot magically get pregnant on my own, and their son, grandson, nephew, and cousin (depending on who was asking me) were part of this equation too. Why am I the only one getting asked about this? Why is he not being harrassed about this too? Boys are responsible for when their partner gets pregnant too!!!
I was at a family function and the boyfriend’s nana grabbed my hand and wasn’t letting go for dear life. She was at me and started yelling, I need you to have a baby so I can die. I need you to have a baby so I can die! I just wanted to say NO, but then what if she had a heart attack and I was the bitch that killed his grandmother??? I was upset by all this and of course, others thought it was hilariously funny, however, I never thought it was funny. Again, I was the one that was attacked over having kids and the only one who asked, the boyfriend now the husband was left alone.
I am sure Jennifer Aniston would have loved to have a child if it could have happened. I am sure it would have been a joy. Some things don’t work out as you wanted. I thought I would have kids when I was younger, but I am an older mum and was lucky things worked out.
“I was trying to get pregnant. It was a challenging road for me, the baby-making road,”
says Aniston, of a period several years ago. ”
Why do we think women who have no children didn’t want any? Many have tried and it hasn’t worked out. They have tried, tried, and gone through a lot of emotions, stress and upset, and torment to hopefully have their long-desired family. Constantly asking why or when babies will happen is horrible, especially for a woman who desperately wanted to have children and hasn’t had the luck or the right circumstances to have this happen.
Also asking women about this topic for those that have long wanted kids would be upsetting and traumatic. How about we stop asking these personal questions as it really is none of our business.
Many who have finally come to terms with not having kids really don’t want to be constantly asked about this whole topic.
Women do want to spend time on their careers.
Some don’t want kids at all.
Some want kids but have issues and cannot have them, although they long for them, always.
This is not just a topic that needs to be asked of women. Men are part of the issue too.
Maybe if men were more aware of their fertility they would have children earlier. They wouldn’t put things off and be on the same page when women want to have kids. Why is it that the female gets harangued about marriage and babies? It is so terrible that we are in 2022 and somehow it is all the fault of the woman when she doesn’t have kids. Men never seemed to get asked about this at all……. So how do women get pregnant without men????????
I feel that Jennifer Aniston has finally come to a good place and is working through things. This is the same for everyone who has been through similar things, however, the frenzy about her biological clock is rude and hurtful. I can totally understand Aniston’s view and personally, if I was her after this interview I would not discuss the topic anymore. It is her private life and her business, and no one else!
Have you found that suddenly strangers and family start to ask you rude and personal questions about your fertility? When you will have kids, do you want kids and loads more???? It doesn’t just happen to famous people, it seems that women are a target for these types of behaviour and questions. Let me know.
SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER
Don’t miss a thing by signing up for my newsletter. The newsletter will list all giveaways and fabulous things that are happening. Stay current with all the things that are happening on Mummy to Twins Plus One.