Feel Like I am Failing


Do you ever catch yourself and think you are the worst mum/mom in the world. Yelling when you promised you would not, and doing things that you also never imagined you would do. Over the past holidays not getting a break from kids/family or even some alone time was not a good thing for me. Even just having a day here or there for mummy to do something for me would have helped a lot.

Hubby did give me a day in the afternoon here and there as I was not feeling the best but it was not like having a whole day to maybe do some sewing, stuff on the blog or just dream or do something for me. Maybe watching a scary show that is not kid friendly, for example, “Being Human”.

With the long awaited start to the kids going back to pre-school I used my one day off this week, getting food, milk, vegetables and fruit. Unpacked the car, put all things away. Tidied kitchen did some laundry and then sat and had a relaxing date with a coffee and my shows. It was a joy to be in a house that I did not have to check on little people doing things they were not supposed to be doing. Another big plus was it was great to not have to raise my voice at all that day, oh the joy of that and it is relaxing to not have to. It is such a drain to you as a person raising your voice every so often.

Again I promise to be better and to try not to yell and to be a better parent and mummy. It is hard though when you feel harassed and don’t get time off. The twins do sleep well and I do things in the evening however I am more energized to do things during the day, so some things don’t happen and if not important can wait.

So my plan for the next few days is to tidy up as much as I can so I can use my days off next week for some things I want to do. I also do want to tidy up some rooms and start to chuck some things or give to charity what we can give away. I need to focus on getting rid of some things that we don’t use anymore, as it is small house and cannot handle too many things, so a big to do list.

What did you catch yourself doing with your day off when kids went back to school? Did you manage to get more than one day off? I hope you did.

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2 Responses
  • Melanie
    January 31, 2013

    Pfft. All the time. Kids are hard work. Especially small kids that you can’t necessarily reason with. And having your own time is pretty necessary for good mental health. It’s easy to feel guilty, and there’s this common social misconception that once you become a mother, you don’t matter anymore, you lose all of your former identity/desires. Suddenly the person you were for several decades is just supposed to take the back seat for the next 18 years. And mostly we do. But it doesn’t mean at times we can’t feel a little tired or resentful because of it.

    Kids are pretty resilient. Yelling at them when they’re doing something wrong isn’t going to break them.

    • Suzanne
      January 31, 2013

      Thanks Melanie, you made some good points. 🙂 Thanks for your lovely comments. Suzanne.

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